i've decided to stick with blogger. livejournal is hopeless for me.

sorry. i know this is late but yeah. i just want to get over and done with it. you know. i feel like im doing injustice to my blog writing about all these immature stuff. but -shrugs- we are immature

ooh. the entrie's back aiya. but heck.

the person sits down. did i tell you to sit? the person stands up did i tell you to stand? sit down the person sits down why arent you sitting 1/3 of the chair? dont you know that you are supposed to sit 1/3 of the chair? . excuse me. i am not at band prac. im at some kind of retarded interview where the aim is to scold. and instill fear. congrats. you've succeeded.
hatred more than fear i would say. it's so sad to think that i get reminded of band everyday of my life. even when my mom scolds me. keeps telling me how ** so good, so smart, so guai, and can juggle school work and band life so wonderfully. sorry but i wont want myself to become like her. you are christian my dear. and you tell me that you are doing this with perfectly clear conscience and that this is for the good of the band? sorry but more like it's good for you. maybe what mo said was true. we're doing this cause we have had to suffer this and so everybody else must suffer this with us. we're selfish, we're scared that we would be the last batch having to suffer this. it's amazing to think about how many batches actually went through this kind of brainless torture without even trying to make an effort to change.
i dont understand myself really. how i actually let myself by haunted by all these memories. how im still scared of the snrs. scared of saying or doing the wrong things.
18 that's how old you are. stop acting like a kid. your rule's over. give it up. we've given you the respect that you have wanted. stop asking for more. you know. i feel that we need the respect too. well. at least trust us to lead the band. understand why we have to do some things. dont go around being pissed for freaking minor things like we didnt do cheers with you or we didnt tie french braid. i believe mr yap had the priority that day. i mean i dont exactly like him very much, but dont you think he deserves at least a proper farewell taking into account what he did for the band. i think he deserves a farewell more than yall do.

i give up. you win. you can have the band as you want it. we've finally climbed out of the pitless hole, seen the light, and pulled ourselves back into the pitless hole. we killed ourselves. we have nobody to blame but ourselves.